Be Yourself

Reflection

I haven’t written anything in a while. And it’s not for lack of inspiration because I’ve honestly had plenty to say. But everything I began to write would, more often than not, end up heading in a negative direction. And while I fully believe in writing to release inner demons, it is not the message I want to send to the world via my blog.

So, for now, I will be keeping those posts to myself.

I do, however, want to go all cliche and emotional since it’s the end of the year and everybody’s doing it and, well, why the heck not?

It’s funny how our concept of time changes as we advance in age. I can remember in my youth [okay, my younger youth] feeling like it took ages and ages for Christmas to come. A whole year seemed to go on in the span of several. And now, time seems to be sprinting by. One minute it’s New Year’s Day, and in the blink of an eye another year has passed.

As I sit here thinking about how I’ve spent my last 365 days, I realize how lucky I am to have had such a positive and wonderful year. I mean, sure, this past year, like all the others, has definitely had its ups and downs, but coming out at the tail end of it all, I am grateful to say that it’s been mostly good.

I was fortunate enough to witness two beautiful and completely different unions of love [one of which I had the pleasure of actually being a part of]. I myself put my own heart on the line – I dated, I put myself out there which is something I don’t often do [read: never]. I grew leaps and bounds in my career, I traveled, I traveled with my dog. The list could go on and on. And while of course there were some not so pleasant moments scattered amongst the good, I realize that life is just one gigantic learning curve. Are we going to learn from our first mistake? Or will we make the same one over and over until we discover we can no longer live with ourselves?

And what of New Year’s Resolutions? I sure am not one to make them, let alone stick to them. When I was younger I’d stack up a long list of things I wanted to accomplish or change in the coming year. And then a week later I’d have misplaced that list and never given it a second thought.

So instead of making a list of things I want to accomplish, I will make one for what I know I will accomplish.

I know I will advance in my career. I know I will be closer to buying a home. I know I will continue to date and meet new people and remain on the path towards finding love. And I know that throughout all of my experiences I will still be myself. I will still be true to me.

And that, I think, is the most important resolution of all.

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#choosemust

I’ve always known I was an artist.

From the moment I learned that I could hold a waxy colored object in my hand and touch it to another object to produce a line, I was completely hooked.

Even before I was born, my parents read to me while I was in the womb.

I guess, in a sense, you could say that I was destined to be a creator.

It truly blows my mind that we can plop letters down next each other to create words, and that we can use those words in an infinite amount of ways to develop stories, poems, thoughts, dreams – I mean, the list goes on and on.

My sister recently got a job in San Francisco working as an Assistant Merchandiser for Dockers under Levis Strauss Co. Her first day on the job, the company had a full day set up with motivational speakers and meetings with other corporate clients. At the end of the day, the company asked the team to pick their favorite part of the day – unanimously, everybody picked a speaker by the name of Elle Luna.

My sister couldn’t stop raving about her.

“She’s only thirty-something. She’s an artist, she works for start-ups. She’s amazing.”

Everyone in the company received a copy of Miss Luna’s book, which was fortunate for me, as I am always so intrigued by people who give motivational speeches and what, exactly, makes them tick.

Needless to say, I devoured her book.

Truly, honestly, if you never ever pick up another book in your entire life, I encourage you to read this one.

I would force you, but that would prove slightly difficult.

It’s called “The Crossroads of Should and Must – Find and Follow Your Passion.”

Seriously. Read the fucking book.

Not for anything, but it makes you feel less alone in the world.

We are all afraid to take chances in life. We are all afraid to follow our dreams. We are not alone in the daily fears that haunt us and keep us from taking that leap of faith.

More and more in my life I am discovering who I am as a person and why I was put on this earth. And I love myself more and more because of it every day.

I’ve always wanted to help people and encourage people. I love to see my friends and family do well. I do experience jealousy, but not hateful jealousy. An envious jealousy that lights a hope in me that someday I will have what they have. And something I am learning is that dreams don’t just fall into your lap. You have to push yourself to make them happen. And they will happen. They will.

The thing I love most about the book is the message that the author continually stresses to the reader – it is never, NEVER too late to follow your dreams and to find out who you are. And it’s okay to need to work a job that perhaps you don’t love, as long as you do pursue your passions. As long as you make time for yourself and the things that you love.

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” – Rumi