When I was younger, I would awaken every morning with a fresh memory chalk full of the previous night’s dreams.
These days, I am lucky if I remember even a sliver of what I dreamt the night before.
So it came as a bit of a shock when this morning’s usual alarm awoke me out of a deep dream.
Or, rather, a nightmare.
If you follow my blog and/or my social media sites, you’ll quickly come to the conclusion that I come from a well-to-do white family. Stereotype would tell you that I’ve had it easy (I have), which is perhaps why I’ve unintentionally chosen the bumpy, untraveled path in life.
In the not so distant past, I came out of a relationship that caused a lot of tension between myself and my family. I dated a “bad boy” who was not at all the type of guy that my parents would have ever picked out for their precious daughter. It almost got me into a lot of trouble, and I did a lot of things during that time that I knew they would disagree with. And because of that, I lived a constant lie.
I continuously lied about where I was going, what I was doing, who I was hanging out with.
And let me tell you something – it was downright the most exhausting and depressing time of my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally chose to live this way. I was consciously waking up every single day and living with the decision to lie to my parents and continue on the way I was going. But I wasn’t happy. I got to a point that I was so stressed about the way that I was living that I couldn’t eat without feeling nauseous. I dropped to an unhealthy weight.. I basically looked skeletal. And the fact that I felt that I had to lie to the people with whom I share my blood is a huge red flag that the decisions I was making were totally wrong. Looking back now, I obviously wasn’t as comfortable as I thought I was with the way things were going.
If you learn nothing else from the things that I write in my blog, please at least take away this – DO NOT LIE TO YOUR FAMILY.
Or anybody, for that matter!
Sure, sometimes a little white lie in the heat of a moment can seem like the easier way out, but, frankly, it’s not. It will always come back to bite you in the ass.
Whoever said that what people don’t know won’t hurt them is a coward. It may not be hurting them, but it sure as shit is hurting you.
The number one problem with lying is: once you’ve told a lie, you have to keep it going. And then you have to keep building other lies around it to keep it going. And eventually you end up in one big, tangled, nasty mess of lies. And, let me tell you, you are never going to come out of it scott free.
The other problem with lying is, if you’re a pathological liar, then, eventually, every fallacy comes out of your mouth you actually fully believe to be true.
Here’s the simplest solution: DON’T LIE.
When I awoke from my dream this morning, I felt sick to my stomach. I had dreamt that, once again, I was dating a guy my parents hated and I tried to lie to them about it (although this proved difficult considering I was driving his car and it was parked in their garage). In my dream, my dad was so disappointed and angry with me that I actually woke up from it and thought it was real – I was so disgusted with myself for lying (even in my subconscious!).
The bottom line is, be honest. Lies always do more harm than good. Not only to you, but to others as well.
The best decision I have ever made was that after my last relationship I was going to start telling the truth. And I wouldn’t be telling it now if I said that I’m 100% all in. There have been times where I’ve told a lie, and, true to form, it ends up getting me in trouble. But more times than not, I am honest. And it feels so good!
So, be true. Be true to others, and, most importantly, be true to yourself.
Because, as the saying goes, the truth WILL, without a single doubt, set you free.